more than just YEN

ARE YOU IN THE DATING GAME?

Contructive comments are welcome to this post. We are talking about BGR, the boy-girl-relationship in today’s era.

We often listen to the laments of the generation before us i.e. our parents, how the "younger" ones are growing up too fast, especially when it comes to casual dating. Generaton Y-ers, will you humbly agree? Or will you take a stand of your own?

As for myself, I may stand on the fence this time. I guess it really depends on individuality. For instance, the maturity level of two 16 year-olds will differ from one another. And we are talking about a heterogeneous population here, where no one is similar to the other. But the question is, on whose standards do we base whether a person is matured enough, or "qualified" to date at a particular age?

That said, we move on to the purpose of dating that may have changed through the timeline. BGR relationships have evolved from marriages restricted to the same clan/caste TO inter-clan marriages TO arranged marriages with NO dating (non-negotiable, just tie the knot as instructed, please) TO today’s free-to-choose-your-spouse-but-bear-your-own-consequence manner. Can we blame this freedom as the cause for the so-called "rat race" in love? After all, it is not uncommon that people begin courting at a relatively young age, and seeing others coupled when you are not may leave a person green with envy (mostly due to inferiority), hence I-want-a girlfriend-NOW-or-I-am-a-GEEK mentality.

Is it a necessity to "catch up"?

The grass may always greener on the other side, but remember, yours isn’t too bad either.

Numbers matter. Especially if it used to describe your age. Along with many more who were born in 1986, we are facing a terrible transition this year from a nineTEEN to a twenty-year-old (20) young adult (note that your age no longer starts with the number "1" any more. *shivers*)

how does one feel about that?

up to recently, i hadn’t really gave it much thought. But when 85% of our peers began to drive around in their own four-wheels to UNIVERSITY (no longer depending on mummy or the little orange school bus), and began to acquire access to an urban nightlife activity called CLUBBING, and also, began to walk hand-in-hand in pairs of Adam & Eve in campus and shopping malls,the age of 20 must have something to do with it.

the changes seem to be drastic once you’ve hit the big 20. and we have not even received our so-called "KEYS OF FREEDOM" which are traditionally given to someone on their 21st birthday. these changes may even turn harsh (consider someone less fortunate who have NO appeal to the hype of Hartamas at night, NO "boyboy" or "girlgirl" to hold their hands, and NO four-wheels but only their faithful legs to carry them to campus).

hmmmm… some thoughts for us to consider.

to all who will turn/have turned 20 this year, our life have just begun.

Third week into university (okay,fine.. "half" a uni, since HELP is a University College), and I am faced with what many will nickname "CULTURE SHOCK".

Just for updates, I am (finally!) doing my Bachelor of Communication. And gosh, my first few weeks have really opened my eyes! REAL wide!

Firstly, the system they execute here. For the first time in my entire life (though hadn’t live longer than Her Majesty QE II, but you get what I mean), I got to CHOOSE my own semester subjects! Woah, that means I determine my academic timetable according to how I want it to be ie. the days I need to attend class etc. No one to instruct or compel me to take certain subjects in a particular given period. WOW!

The flipside of this, I took a whole long night cracking my head on how to arrange my "favoured" subjects accordingly, in order that the given class time slots do not clash. AND, I discovered that many subjects are offered only once a year, so if I missed it this sem, I’ll have to cope with waiting another long year. Which means spending more time, which also means more $$$ to be spend (it is, after all, a private institution).

Well,life goes on, doesn’t it?

Second uni culture shock: the WORKLOAD.

My early dreams of an ideal uni, where educated students lie down on the green,green lawn under the warm sunshine while discussing important subjects (such as, ermm.. the nation’s economy, anyone?), were quickly bashed! Third week into Uni is nothing like third week in a school calendar! Already, now I have important assignments and a very important course subject loaded on me, which will all eventually account to my semester results.

To discover that even a 1% is a matter of life and death in the Uni scoring system didn’t help. Gone were the days when we can openly complain to our kind "cikgu" how "kedekut" of him/her if "1% pun nak kira ke??"! In Uni, the awarding scores can go as low as 0.1%, which can decide the fate of your overall CGPA (feel the pressure, anyone?).

Well, I am on with 4 subjects this first term, and I have 29 more to go. I guess I’ll just have to cope with it all *grin*.

WHAT would you do, if you happen to decide to laze and “rayau” (wander, in Malay) at only one of the most happening place in all of KL town (i.e the Sg. Wang Plaza located at the heart of the never-sleeping Bukit Bintang Square), found yourself unable to resist the call to play a game one from one of hundreds of the arcade machines, AND find that someone (what an angel!) has,one way or another, left a token in the machine slot– meaning, a free ticket to a game for the next lucky user of the game machine, that is, YOU?

Well, I happen to be that “lucky” person just the other week. Subconsciously and almost very naturally, a battle ensued in my little mind. THE LOGICAL SELF versus THE INNER VOICE. I mean, c’mon! The token itself was already inserted in the machine before me– I can’t possibly conduct a “surgery” on it and fork out the undeserving RM1 coin, all in the name of attempt to be honest, could I?? (Could I,really?) Anyway, any logical person would just thank the heavens for such a treat and use the “gift” to play a free game! AND still feel guilt-free. So, what was the deal with me?

THE LOGICAL SELF triumphed after a short-but-intense mental debate. So I played my “undeserving-but-yet-I-took-it-anyway” game, but not without a dark cloak suffocating my conscience through the whole time. As I left the arcade, the clear winner was announced-THE INNER VOICE. The LOGICAL SELF had succumbed to a great sense of “something-is-just-not-right-somewhere”. What I did next was to make a prompt prayer for forgiveness and peace. And to compensate for the RM1 I used but I did not deserve, I search my pocket for a RM1 of my own and gave to the deserving–a needy beggar with a child by the street.

Funny, how a greater Teacher points us to little lessons in life just about anywhere and anytime. And to wrap this up, may I advise all who read this to be sensitive to that inner voice dwelling in each of us? I think His Name is the “Holy Spirit“.

Love for JC ….yenmun….

Dedicated to all who think that the world is spinning so fast, you could not catch a second to breathe. Or so you think.

God made the world

This is for sure

He placed the Sun and the Moon

So the time is never too soon.

He arranged the days

Monday to Sunday

But let me tell you

What I really have to say!

     Monday oh Monday!

     Why are you here today?

     I had my weekend, I know

     But is the fun here to end?

Tuesday comes in next

Which tells me there is NO time to rest

Oh well, is there something I could do?

My life busies that of a zoo!

     Soon Wednesday drops by

     I wonder if it hears my cry

     My plate is so full!

     No thanks to the oh-so-cruel!

Next thing I know

Thursday knocks at my door

Bills are in the queue;

Next in line are the many chores!

     "Thank God It’s Friday"

     The sign screams to my eyes

     How much wrong can you be?

     For my heart fails to see.

Half day at work

It is what I have been looking forward;

Saturday has finally arrived!

But, tough luck!

Mr. Sun, do you really have to rise early today?

     So Sunday marks the time

     When church is prime

     I come and I go

     To where the wind shall blow.

Could this be an illusion?

When God sent a day

He has chose to chase my old life away!

He showed me

That Monday is no longer lonely

Neither is Tuesday

For I have learnt to follow "the Way"

Wednesday looks great

As it is the rest of the week

Because He gives me space to breathe.

     Yes! It is true!

     My days are no longer blue!

     Because I have found my Creator

     Who is my everyday LORD.

Smile and cheers! ‘cos Jesus loves all of us loads and loads!

an original composition by …yenmun.. at the age of 15 <25/8/2001>.